Unrealistic Advice

Today I was a guest caller for a radio show. I won’t get into the details because they’re not important. I was queried to be on it and then when they contacted me, they didn’t want me on as an expert, they wanted me on as a caller. (I.e. the set up was on; I was a guy calling in as I listened to the show, not a guy who they called to be on the show.) I would have like to have debated with the host, as he had some interesting notions–some good, some bad–and it would have been an engaging, enlightening conversation for both us and listeners. That wasn’t the idea of the show, though.

The topic of the show was getting your boyfriend to marry you. The core of the host’s solution? All single women everywhere should stop having sex with guys, forcing them to marry to get the goods. Such a solution is pointless. One, it’s punishing yourself. Two, it will never happen. So, what’s the point? You got me. I guess it doesn’t solve anything and the host can blame you for his advice not working because you keep having sex. It’s a great way to defend your position and look like you have ample knowledge because even if one woman complains she stopped having sex and still can’t get a guy to marry her, the host can say, “Well, other women must be having sex still, so that’s why my advice isn’t working in; it’s not on me or the advice, it’s on other women.” And then you keep listening to the show.

The other issue is why is it a problem if you’re a woman and you don’t get married? Why is it necessary? If you want to get married and your boyfriend won’t marry you, break up. Don’t come up with ways to force him–again, the advice was pretty much stop sleeping with him. Walk away. If he wants to get married, he’ll come after you and ask. Anything less than that, tell him to stop calling and to go away. You want different things and it’s not a good idea to complicate such a relationship by manipulating the guy into marriage. Do you really think that will work out?

He doesn’t want to marry, you do, walk away. Period. If you find yourself getting unrealistic advice from a source, find a new source or at least consider a few other sources.