"Otay" is the New "Okay"

This is what I've learned this past week from my two-year-old niece:

1) "Otay" is the new "Okay"
2) "I'm sorry" makes everything "Otay"
3) Sitting on the potty and not doing a damn thing fifteen times a day is worthy of a cookie and a celebratory cheer of "I did it!" each time. Of course, I have to be witness to this event every time because someone has to know she deserves the cookie. (She does nothing on the toilet and I still have to change her diaper several times a day.)

4) The typical two-year-old gets up a dozen times each night for the following reasons, always in this order: isn't tired, is scared, doesn't need to go to bed, wants some milk, wants some water, has to go potty, wants some juice, there is a monster under the bed, isn't tired, is scared, it's dark, and it's dark again

5) "Why?" is the only word in the dictionary
"Get down." "Why?"
"Eat your carrots." "Why?"
"Put that down." "Why?"
"We can't do that now." "Why?"

6) There is never a time for bed
"Time for bed." "No!" "Yes." "I'm not tired." "When will you be tired?" "Never! I don't need to ever go to bed!"

Mostly, this week I've learned that I'm a great big teddy bear, on which to pounce, kick, crawl, and hug. Not bad at all.

My Sister's Kids

If you're wondering where I've been, I have my older sister's kids for a while. So, I am now responsible for three kids, ages 11, 5, and 2. She's busy with some things, so I agreed to watch them for a while. I'll be back in full swing after the holidays. Until then, I'm busy holding a toddler over the toilet so she can "go potty" and doing other such things. Have a great holiday, everyone!

WTF???? Customer Service??!! What's That!!??

Something happened today that hasn't happened to me in years... I received customer service. Now, I know I got a glimpse of it from Adobe a few months ago, but I had to push to get it, after being transferred to several different people in different departments.

I ordered a book of TV and radio contacts to move to the next level and try to get some national media spots to talk about the book, give dating advice, talk about upcoming projects, and just all around entertain. The contact list is not cheap; it is $350 for a year. It's $700 if you want monthly free updates for a year (the industry changes fast and it's wise to keep updated). I ordered the book w/out the udpates. Well, they screwed up and didn't mail it to me Monday like they were supposed to; so, when I called them about it, they apologized and today, they called to tell me they will be giving me the updates for free. So, I got $350 of free updates w/out having to make a complaint or anything (and I wasn't going to; it was a minor error). I must admit, it was very cool and felt great. You'd think more companies would have customer service. Also, when I called their 800-number, I got a person! No "type in the bra size of your mother's maiden's name's best friend's neighbor," or anything like that. Pretty impressive!

More News - Next Project

I think this is the first time I missed making an entry between posts that is more than a week in length; but, with good reason... I am nearly done with my next project and have been working hard on it. I decided to put three of my thriller screenplays into one book, after re-formatting them and flushing out the descriptive content. All these scripts have been well-received by the film industry but they want some changes with which I don't agree. (Of course, if they bought a script, they could do whatever they want with it and will.) Just like God, which a handful of publishers wanted to alter to the point of ruining it, I am going to try to demonstrate that these stories are ones audiences want. (When you travel a lot and are very social, you listen to what people like and hate and want in books and film. It's the stuff you are not going to get from focus groups, which tend to be poorly representative of the population when it comes to the arts.)

All the scripts have done well. One won a contest, the other placed runner-up in the same contest, and the third got me in with a major production company. One of the scripts is currently being developed by Davis Entertainment (Predator, Flight of the Phoenix, I, Robot), although I have lost touch with them for the time being; both of us working on other projects, and the development situation may very well have faded away. I got some great tips on scripts from them, though, so either way the arrangement was beneficial. Also, the winning script landed me my first manager after Joan Cusack read it and liked it.

So, that's what I've been up to. My latest column is up at http://www.lunchisnotadate.com. I'll have something else to say soon; most likely another dating story from my past...

Singular Existence Q&A and Latest Media

Hey Gang,

My Q&A answering Leslie Talbot's questions is up. You can check it out at http://www.singularexistence.com/. Good questions and insightful.

I will be on Chicago NBC Morning News tomorrow morning at around 6:15AM with some holiday dating advice. At around 9AM, I will be on WLUW 88.7 radio in Chi-Town. A busy morning but I set it up this way so I would only have to get up early one Saturday morning and not burn more than one Friday night . . . I know what I'm doing!