Insult Vs. Challenge, Round 1

Now that God is a Woman: Dating Disasters has officially been released, I'm getting some questions on my "courtship" views, for lack of a better term. One question that keeps re-occurring is, especially from women, "Are you into the whole insult the woman to keep her ego in check-thing? Do you talk about it in your book?" There have been a bunch of dating-advice books for guys released lately--which is good because previously there weren't many and guys could really use them--and many of them advocate insulting women to keep their egos in check.

Insulting women to keep their egos in check works on women with self-esteem issues. You can find a lot of these women at clubs (typically the ones dressed to kill, wanting to be the focus of the room), on the beach (often easily identifiable because they are reading copies of "Cosmo" and "Glamour" and have a pile of other chick magazines, as opposed to a book), and so forth, virtually anywhere. Clubs are your best bet, though. I do talk about this technique in God is a Woman. I am not a fan of it. Instead, I prefer to challenge women. It's more flirtatious, playful, and doesn't put them on the defense. It also works with almost every woman, not just those with esteem issues.

Let's take a club as a scenario. If I go to a club, I'm strictly going to dance or to get laid. I'm not looking for my next girlfriend. Clubs are loud and a high-percentage of the women are high-maintenance, needing constant ego boosts, a man who is willing to continually prove his worth, and so forth. I'm simply too lazy for all that. What are the obstacles at a club? Noise, other guys, and, of course, her friends, whomever "she" might be. Again, I'm lazy, so I want to remove as many obstacles as possible using the least amount of steps possible.

A guy meets a woman at the club. He finds out she's a model. He insults her occasionally to keep her ego in check with lines like, "You're not that pretty for a model," and, "They must do some serious airbrushing on your shots." This puts her on the defense and makes things combative. It works because she feels a strong need to prove she is worthy of all the good treatment men usually give her, so she'll come back for more, as she tries to prove the guy wrong. They're still in the club and have all the obstacles thereof but at least he's gotten through her defenses.

I meet the same woman. When I find out she's a model, I challenge her. "You're not really a model . . . you're too articulate to be a model, from what I've heard . . ." I flatter her while I challenge. She's not defensive or combative. I keep pushing. She's a model; she can't be too far from a portfolio or photos of herself. They may be in her home, hotel room, or car. THAT'S where I want to be. If I keep challenging, while mixing in flirting and witty banter, she'll prove she's a model by taking me to the lair of her portfolio. Hell, she may just have a few photos in her purse. When she takes them out and hands them to me, I comment, "It's too dark in here," and turn to leave.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm taking these outside, where there's some light, so I can see them."

She'll follow, not wanting to lose her pictures. There's no time to tell her friends where she's going. Once outside, guess what? No noise, no other guys, not one of her friends. And we're looking at sexy pictures of her. I keep challenging. "Do you have any of you in bikinis? Are you wearing this bra right now?" You get the drift. Wherever I wind up with her, we're alone. She's no idiot, she's knows the game I'm playing; she's been playing it, too. She'll throw me signs about how far she wants it to progress. I've had women take me back to their place and make me wait in the lobby, while they run up to get some of their artwork or photo shoots, to bring back and show me. I've had others bring me right up into their place. Which ones want things to go further? If you can't figure that out, there's no help for you. Challenging removes the obstacles, which is why I prefer it.

Okay, that works for models only, Ian. Use your imagination. Near beaches, I've challenged women to races along the sand. In ski resorts, I've challenged women to contests to see who can make the best snow angel. Again, they know what I'm doing. I'm getting them alone. Women aren't stupid, they're way ahead of us most of the time. They just need an excuse to be unaccountable for what might occur and I'm giving it to them. "He wouldn't give me my pictures back until I gave him a kiss. He was such a good kisser, one thing led to another . . ." In truth, I'm playing more into their hands than they are into mine.

Try challenging. Like anything else, it takes practice to get the hang of it. What do you have to lose? If it doesn't work, you can always fall back on insulting her. No harm, no foul.

Don't worry ladies; my next post will have advice for you.

From the Mouths of Babes

Had my nephews over this weekend. The oldest is 10, the other 4. His first time sleeping over at Uncle Ian's. He was a little nervous about leaving home but once I told him we would be driving through Batman's tunnel (Lower Wacker Dr., where they filmed "Batman Returns"), he couldn't leave fast enough. I have five nephews and nieces total. They say and do some of the best things:

The 4-year-old when he spilled some grape juice on the rug. "That's not good." He then took off his shirt and dropped it over the spill, to cover it up.

The 3-year-old niece.
Me: "I'm sad because you didn't draw me a Valentine's Day picture."
Her: (putting hands on hips): "Do you have a fridge to hang it up on?"

The 10-year-old at age 3: "Uncle Ian, your place is so small, it's only this big." (makes a little hole w/his fingers) "If it was any smaller, it would be a mouse hole." (laughs) "Your place is too small for a mouse. You have a mouse home!"

What a couple of characters.

Eight Days?!

I can't believe I've gone 8 days w/out making an entry. Sorry. Been busy doing some book reviews, interviews, and radio shows. Here are some book reviews. I suggest "I Killed." The other book is only for a certain crowd and they know who they are. Enjoy. I will get another entry in over the wknd.

http://www.bloggernews.net/14716

http://www.bloggernews.net/14732

Give the Election to The Republicans

It looks like the Dems are determined to lose the next presidential election. That's too bad, considering I think we need one in there to get some of our current garbage cleaned up, especially with it being a dem congress and probably staying that way next election.

The problem is the party consists of two self-serving candidates who insist on running. And the media is jumping all over it, failing to give much needed coverage to the other party's candidates.

Of course, you know of whom I speak. Yeah, Obama and Clinton. They both see this election as the one to make history. Things are so bad in the country, they feel this is the time for them to make their move. Fools. I have no doubt they can do better things for the country but the fact that they believe they can win only shows what little touch they are in with the voters.

The South will not vote for a minority President, period. Not yet. And they determine the victor. They've proven that time and time again. In the meantime, the Republicans are running some very solid, well-known candidates. All they have to put in the mind of the voters is one simple question, which they shrewdly will:

It's great to see a minority candidate running, but with all the chaos going on in the country and world right now, is this really the right time to have a President who has to deal with the added pressure of being the first minority President? Wouldn't that be better saved for next election? (Hopefully, voters will remember that it's the Republicans who are responsible for a great deal of the chaos going on, but somehow I doubt they will.)

If Obama or Clinton win the primary, congrats to the next President, which ever Republican he is.

Really That Surprising?

Anna Nicole Simth passed away yesterday, in case you somehow possibly missed that info. People are "shocked." Shocked! Is it really that shocking? While it's sad to see someone die, especially prematurely, come on. She lived a crazy, dangerous life. She didn't seem to have a handle on who she was, wanted to be, or where she was going.

I remember when John Candy had a heart attack and people were "shocked!" Yes, that was shocking. John Candy... heart attack. Who would have thought? We all miss him, but how could anyone be shocked?

On another note, here in Chi-Town we are all freezing. Everyone's car is painted white with salt and we can't wash them, as the doors would all freeze shut. We lay tons of salt down here in the winter. Other cities don't even come close. Many because they don't want the increased chance for rust on their cars. I've had countless people in places like Minneapolis tell me, "Yeah, we don't salt here. Don't want that rust damaging our cars." Yup. Last time I was in Minneapolis, there was an ice storm. They had over 400 accidents in one afternoon. Yeah, slamming into a tree doesn't cause any damage to a car, at least nothing you can't live with. Crashing through your windshield? Not a problem. But that rust, whew! That's just insane. Who wants THAT?

Lunch is Not a Date

Here is my first Lunch is Not a Date column. Enjoy and feel free to reply w/feedback.

http://www.godisawoman.net/lunchcolumnfeb07.pdf