"Otay" is the New "Okay"

This is what I've learned this past week from my two-year-old niece:

1) "Otay" is the new "Okay"
2) "I'm sorry" makes everything "Otay"
3) Sitting on the potty and not doing a damn thing fifteen times a day is worthy of a cookie and a celebratory cheer of "I did it!" each time. Of course, I have to be witness to this event every time because someone has to know she deserves the cookie. (She does nothing on the toilet and I still have to change her diaper several times a day.)

4) The typical two-year-old gets up a dozen times each night for the following reasons, always in this order: isn't tired, is scared, doesn't need to go to bed, wants some milk, wants some water, has to go potty, wants some juice, there is a monster under the bed, isn't tired, is scared, it's dark, and it's dark again

5) "Why?" is the only word in the dictionary
"Get down." "Why?"
"Eat your carrots." "Why?"
"Put that down." "Why?"
"We can't do that now." "Why?"

6) There is never a time for bed
"Time for bed." "No!" "Yes." "I'm not tired." "When will you be tired?" "Never! I don't need to ever go to bed!"

Mostly, this week I've learned that I'm a great big teddy bear, on which to pounce, kick, crawl, and hug. Not bad at all.