Don't Break Up at a Comedy Club

That's good advice for both comedians and audience members... here's the story.

(I hadn't intended to make another entry so soon, I'm leaning toward one entry a week, to give people time to read each entry, but Michael Richards changed that this week.)

Michael Richards lost it onstage. Everyone knows, it's all over the news. Did he stop to think before he spoke? Ah, no. There's no excuse for it and I won't even comment on his statements; there's no need to. They were horrible and he obviously has some strong feelings and/or experiences, despite whatever he says in any apology. Hopefully, he can work through them.

Everyone is talking about the racial issue, which is obviously warranted and understandable. But I wanted to stop and think about another issue, which applies to every comedian, anyone who visits a comedy show, and anyone who watches one at home. Comedians MUST be funny at all times. Michael insulted comedians everywhere by forgetting this. When we work clubs, what are we really doing? Pushing drinks through laughter. That's it. It doesn't matter who you are, that's what you are doing. (If you're playing a theater, that's a different story. But he wasn't.)

No matter what happens during your day, week, month, or the show, a comedian must be funny. That's the gig! That's what we signed on for. My grandma died when I was on the road. I still had to do my shows, still be funny. I had horrible days, I still had to do shows, still be funny. If you don't handle hecklers well, ask the club to throw them out. I worked with Kevin Meaney one night and that's what he did. Someone heckled him, wouldn't shutup, Kevin said, "I don't do hecklers. You have to leave." The guy whined about paying his $20, Kevin pulled $20 out, passed it down to the guy, and told him, "Now get out." Kevin then held up a wad of cash and said, "I have plenty more where that came from for anyone else who wants to leave," at which point I walked up to the stage and yelled, "You suck!" I then held out my hand. The crowd went nuts, Kevin laughed, I went back my seat, and he went on to have a great set.

Okay, okay, the story. One night I was doing a gig in Michigan in front of a packed house of 200 people. A couple sitting upfront decided a comedy club was just the place to try and save their relationship. During the first two acts, they argued and ruined the show for everyone. The club had never experienced something like this and they were too nervous to remove the couple because of the visibility, the couple being right in front of the stage. The first two comics were too green to deal with it.

Time for me to go up. No sooner had I hit the stage when the guy yelled at the girl. I had to shut them up but still be funny, even though they had long passed pissing me off. I looked at them, "Hey, I don't want you two to worry. We've called Jerry Springer and he's on his way. He'll patch this up in no time." The crowd laughed racously.

The guy actually said to me very loudly, "Excuse me, we're trying to have a conversation here."

I laughed, then told her to break up with him. "If he's so stupid to try to fix this at a comedy show, dump him. He has no brains at all. In fact, I'm done here in thirty minutes, you'll be free by then, want to show me around town?"

The crowd went nuts. I ribbed them for another few minutes before they finally got up and left, to the ovation of the crowd.

See? Not that hard. Hecklers happen. Deal with it. By the way, there's a really good example of dealing with hecklers and loud audience members on my site under "comedy clips." Check it out by clicking below if you want. It takes a while to load because it is 20 minutes long but it is good. Scroll to the bottom to find it, it's the last clip on the page.

http://www.iancoburn.com/ComedyClips.htm

Also, please read "Blame the Homeless" if you haven't. I don't want that overshawdowed by this. It is good and something we should all think about. There is an underlying message in it about improving ourselves and the environment around us.

Happy T-Day.